This is a topic I have been wanting to write about for a while but it took on a new urgency recently. In my work as a somatic psychotherapist I hear all types of stories from people who are in their healing journey. They have sought out all sorts of folks for support which I am all for. Though I am a psychotherapist by training I acknowledge that healing needs to happen at many different levels and in many different dimensions and psychotherapy is one of many tools that can be used to support this process.
Often folks that I support tend to also be very spiritual and are led to seek the support of psychics, astrologers, bodyworkers, energy healers and other types of healers whose modalities are too various to list. And a lot of these modalities are wonderful. When practiced by the right people they can bring immense healing into the lives of others.
But something I have heard over the years, and I have observed in the circles I have traveled in, is people who purport themselves to be healers, psychics, astrologers, etc who say mean, cruel or insensitive things to the people who come to them for their healing services.
I have heard stories of body shaming clients. Clients being criticized and made to feel ashamed for how they show up in the world. Clients having their past trauma activated in the healing session and the practitioner not having the skill or the knowledge on how to handle this. Or when clients have voiced a genuine concern about the interaction with the healer they are minimized or made to feel that what they are saying is not real or all in the clients head.
All of this is extremely hurtful and all it does is cause further injury to the person they are supposed to be serving.
Humanity is in a very vulnerable place right now. Our society is spinning out of control and people are afraid and frightened. They are looking for ways and tools to help them understand the world around them and they are seeking support from all manner of folks who purport to have the skills necessary to do the job of guiding them and holding space for them.
I just want to say this: Be careful who you sit with. Be careful of who you sit with for healing and who you take guidance from.
As someone who has been on her healing journey since my early 20’s I know the urgency that is there to be “fixed” and be “well’. I know it and have felt it in my own body. But because this is often our deepest desire we do not fully vett the person from whom we are seeking spiritual services and support. Often the people can be wonderful but also there are folks putting out that they can be a help to others when they have not effectively dealt with themselves. Therefore when they are allegedly holding space for others they cause harm.
They have not effectively dealt with their own traumas and abuse histories. They think having spiritual abilities is proof that they are healed and they don’t have to deal with these issues. That is not the case. Being spiritually attuned does not mean that they can just skip over or skim past what it means to be human.
Being human can be a raw and painful journey for many of us. And if we are spiritually or energetically attuned and have a desire to share this with others, we have to be on our p’s and q’s about our own healing process. We have to do it. We just have too. It can be painful ugly work but it’s work we must do diligently if we are claiming to support others as healers. We can not cause further harm to others because we have not learned the skills we need to heal ourselves as healers.
When folks are seeking services from others do not just go by what you see with your eyes or what appears to be on the surface that looks good. Listen really listen to what the person is saying. Close your eyes and feel their energy as they speak. Just sit and see what you notice and observe in your own body. You can do all of these things for the most part before you even have an initial visit with them.
Also when folks start talking about this or that having a low vibration, get curious about what’s at the root of what the person is trying to say. People who make blanket statements or attribute things to low vibrations often haven’t had the necessary training to understand mental and emotional health so in their eyes that is having a “low vibration”. It is not.
Often when folks are in trauma time or in their trauma brain they are triggered and have trouble regulating themselves to bring their brain back online. That is not a “low vibration”. Having OCD behaviors or repetitive thoughts about their experiences is not “low vibration”. It is someone being in need of additional support that this person might not have the knowledge and skill to give them.
Also be on-the-lookout for people who have a lack of knowledge on their topic and lack empathy. People who are insensitive. The list goes on and on. I just want folks to understand that as humans we are in a very vulnerable space in general and particularly in this space in time and history. We are searching for answers and we are looking to others in the hope they can offer some guidance. That is not wrong at all, just make sure you do your due diligence by listening deeply and feeling that person’s energy to see if they are a right fit for you.
Then begin asking some critical questions about what you are seeing, feeling and observing. Then begin noticing how they treat others, their sensitivity and maturity level, etc. Just because someone is spiritually and energetically attuned does not mean they have the maturity and sensitivity level to be using these things maturely and appropriately with others.
A lot of younger folks think that having a desire to serve others with their spiritual talents is enough. It is not. Maturity, empathy and having done an abundance of their own healing work and continuing to do so are also non-negotiable factors. These are non-negotiables for all of us who purport to be healers.
One last thing: Be careful of folks who say that they are self-taught or self-trained.
Sigh…I know not everyone has the finances to go to formalized training regarding their area of expertise. This is one of the many things that is unfair and unjust about our current form of society. Being approved by white dominated systems is not something I support or agree with.
But I believe in training and mentorship because despite whatever natural talent we may have we also are human and would benefit from additional knowledge and structure around our craft whatever it may be.
Because we don’t have eldership in communal societies the way that we did in pre-colonial societies we often will have to pay for the learning and support we seek. But this does not mean we should not seek it at whatever level we can afford right now. We want to make sure we are not in our egos when we are working with others and with knowledge, mentorship and supervision we can have checks and balances. None of us are out here with all the answers so be careful of anyone that says they have them all.
And lastly, and this really is the last thing, no legitimate person will direct message you offering you their services. They will not claim to have all the power to heal you and your life. They will not pressure you in any way shape or form. They will not try to put fear in you or scare and frighten you. They will not try to scare or frighten you. They will not try to scare or frighten you. Listen to your body and what it is trying to tell you and please pay attention.